Run 1412 The Cosmic 700 Mohssen Hash 13/4/7 Hares: Dirty Little Brat With Cheeky Red Cheeks, Smack Ass, Uncle Wes, Tassie Trombone, Rudie HASH STATS Walkers: 44 Runners: 8 Total: 52 Quotes of the Day "I’m sure Nadine knows what to do with it." "Buy Useless a new shoe detector for Christmas and you’ve got a friend for life." "Sherine I love you; I can’t live without you." "Those braddies were fantastic." "I think she needs a softer one than that." The Trail We were in Upper Wadi Digla for Hash 1412, at the Painted Bosoms Site, turning right immediately after the wee tollbooth and driving far into the desert. The Hash pool team won their fixture last week and then Good In Bed made it to the women’s final in the knockout in Mohandiseen. Anyway, some 52 Hashers turned up on an afternoon when it rained sporadically (as it did yesterday, when there were sandstorms) and it also got very cold for a while. Curiously, Hugh J. Nuss was a Hare near this spot in late March 2006, when it rained very heavily and we all headed home after an abbreviated Circle. Your scribe got a lift with Titty Tattoo when Mobile Moses rang to say that his truck had exploded, so she valiantly drove back to el-Arab to pick up Mohamed and the beer, which meant that we missed the trails, which both took about an hour. The Circular Shout Up Hugh J. Nuss launches the Circle, punishing the Hares and then today’s five visitors: one lady (Margaret from Copenhagen) and four dudes (a consultant; Mostafa; Samir studying at AUC; and Gary, who works in IT for USAID and was Hash Trash in Siberia – what a bloke!). After that Tit For Tat announces the Moon Beach Away Hash at the end of May, which is already heavily subscribed. Thank-you too to Bad Lay and Hala for helping with the beer today. Next we sing ‘We’re the Hash House Harriers’ for the following Hashers who are wearing cool jackets: Erect Runner, John Palmer, a doll called Megan, Rudie, Cookie, Should’ve Been Blonde (gets the Pisser) and How Many Stomachs?. They are followed by Brain Dead, Tobias, two other dudes (one Lebanese-French [Nabil] and the other Italian [Christian Bianci]) and a doll with glasses called Clinda. We give them a blast of the ‘4Skin Song’. Our Clinda gets called up again for drinking from her right hand, along with Bad All The Time, Castrati, Mostafa and doll Gigi. Meanwhile, Cookie advertises the new Hash towels, while Hala gets stuck into a bit of the old raffle-extracting and The Sheriff of Nottingham wins the whisky! Then Rick Gould selects Upside Ben Doone, who goes for the Romanian grappa, while Hot Air extracts Tobias, who zeroes in on this his birthday on a case of Saqqara! As it Toby’s 28th birthday, he now drinks with seven gorgeous Hashettes (one for every four years) – Anne, Smack Ass, Charlotte, Easy Wife of Bam-Bam, Alex, Jessica and Tit Tat. And it’s Tobias again, who passes on the Old Smelly Galabiya to Mostafa, with Bad Lay (first down-down this week) and Rudelski (tells us a joke) joining him. Next, we sing ‘It’s a Hash House Sin’ to the day’s non-signer-inners – Shona Johnston, Megan Mckinley, Alex, Christian Bianci, Mostafa and Karl (?). There’s more singing in the form of ‘We Go Hashing’ for several Hashers who ain’t had any sherbets yet, namely Straw Hat, the Siberian Sexbomb, Bam-Bam and Karim. And now those Hashers who’ve done lots of Hashes are invited by Hugh J. Nuss to indulge in refreshments: Useless (gets the Pisser), Mobile Moses, Bad All The Time, The Sheriff (Pisser), Cookie, Erect Runner (over 500), Upside Ben Doone, D. Floured, Rudie, Castrati, Should’ve Been Blonde and Sven (1,234 Hashes worldwide). They are joined by Hot Air who’s done an extraordinary 700 runs with the CH3, for which Frau Hund presents him with a beautiful silver shot glass in an attractive blue case. He pours the contents of one of the Piss pots into the glass – my cup brimmeth over. And now for more raffle-extracting, with Tassie drawing Cheeky Little Brat (grabs the gin), Too Many Stomachs (swoops on another case of Saqqara), Cheeky Little Brat again (gallantly demands a redraw), Upside Doone (scoops the antique teapot and watering can) and Nabil (buttonholes a case of orange ‘Fanta’ and another one of diet ‘Coke’)! Finally, for good measure, we given Hot Air another brewski, before heading back to the On-On kindly hosted by The Dude in his flat in Road 199. He and Cheeky Little Brat had organised a very tasty buffet from the Petit Suisse, along with a Heineken machine. A good time was had by all, with Gorillas leading us in a splendid sing-song once he’d been suitably lubricated, while Bad Lay thoroughly spoilt your scribe by letting him drink not one but two Heineken down-downs from his new(ish) leather shoes! On-On!! Who Has What: 1. New Smelly Galabiya: Marie-Leese 2. Old Smelly Galabiya: Mostafa 3. Magic Lantern: Little Dina 4. Toilet Seat: Spoilt Little Brat With Red Nuts 5. Chain of Pain: Hala ON-ON Useless

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Older scribes can be found here http://www.cairohash.com/docs/old