"I’ll try my best to squeeze you in, habeebi, as the actress said to the Bishop." "Did John pick them up or was it the other way round?" "Life’s not worth living without strawberry bubble gum." "I struggled a little bit, but it was good fun." "A young American lady got if off and gave it to Useless."

Hash Trash 1422 was in Wadi Digla Protectorate. We were at a slightly new site, a little further in on the left than the broken-down building. Numbers were down due to a lot of people getting spruced up for this evening Queen’s Birthday Ball. It was very hot, so your scribe joined the walkers, as we climbed a little way up the northern cliffs, then veered eastwards, tripping along the tricky foothills. The first cheque was on the valley floor and then we progressed further east, stopping at the first runners’ Czech, near the walkers’ second one. From there, we turned back, strolling westwards to the RV, passing the first RV on the right (as you drive down the wadi) on our left, with the tree stump on the right. We spotted a dust devil en route. The walk took 1 hour 10 mins, the run 1 hr 15 mins.

Hugh J. Nuss leaps into action, awarding himself a down-down for his splendid efforts in setting two trails singlehandedly. We then welcome this week’s visitors: Ruby from Egypt, Anita from Aberdeen and Rachel, aged nine, also from Scotland. We sing the ‘Why Were They Born?’ And now over to Herr Hund, who invites Useless (who didn’t sign in!) and Cucking Funt to indulge in beverages, after which Luke and Julia, our Belgian friends, grab refreshments along with C. Funt, for wearing his hat in the Circle. Now, in order to celebrate the Queen’s birthday, Herr Hund makes an imaginary royal family comprising Hot Air (Dodi), the Queen (Doing It Backwards), Rachel (a Princess), Steve Rossiter (Prince Philip), Cracker (the Prince of Wales) and Julie (Princess Diana). Everyone in the Circle drinks a down-down except the royal family — oh the hardships of belonging to the monarchy. And now for something very important: How Many Stomachs is presented with a superb 150-run Tea shirt, being joined by a brace of Hash beauties — Frau Hund and Nagla. The fun continues, as Hot Air asks us who should be the recipient of the Chain of Pain — Elaine or Ruby. Elaine of the Chain kinda rolls off the tongue and she gets it on the cheer.

Another very important thing now transpires: we say au revoir to The Italian Blob and family, who are off to their new assignment in Turkey. He, Angela and Pink Princess are presented with mugs and little Alexandra with a little mug. Cracker is invited to down a sherb for wearing that nice 2007 CH3 Tea shirt, being joined by Damien (for FRBing), Jungle Hat (Nagla’s husband), Kafka, Anne, Melts In Her Mouth and the delightful Hannah. They are followed by How Many Stomachs and Ken Davies, while Useless and Julia drink out of Julia’s new shoes. What a treat! Meanwhile, Herr Hund announces the Saqqara Hash on 13^th July and Hugh J. Nuss informs us of the On-On at Ithaki, a restaurant that used to be a coffee shop and before that a South Korean eatery, near the Mobil station in New Maadi. The last round of d-ds goes to Tony (cool shorts), Bad Lay (no Hash Tea shirt), Hannah, Melts In Her Mouth, Elaine (in fact, she’s abandoning us for Italy, so she gives the Chain of Pain to littler Rachel), Anne, Hot Air and Mirelle. And that was that, before we headed to Ithaki and tucked into their tasty chicken, beef and rice buffet. On-On!!

1. New Smelly Galabiya: Marie-Louise
2. Old Smelly Galabiya: Andy
3. Magic Lantern: Little Dina
4. Toilet Seat: Spoilt Little Brat
5. Chain of Pain: Little Rachel
6. Underpants Cap: Pussy Wig On-On Useless

Older scribes can be found here http://www.cairohash.com/docs/old