We were at the Olympic Site for Hash Trash 1423. What with the heat and the summer holidays, it was another small affair. We started a little late, due to people taking a long time to arrive, given the distance. Your scribe was with the runners, as we ran into the sun, on this warm, breezy afternoon, ideal for drying the washing. It was up and down sandy, stony dunes — quite a struggle in fact — created by the quarrying. We then veered eastwards down a really steep slope to the first cheqq in the gap between two sandhills. From there, it was up one of hills, then down again because it was a falsie, then a little east and up more hills over the slippery, stony stuff, as we headed west again to the second Czech, between smaller manmade hills. Soon we were going northwards and at the third cheque Damien gave us a lecture on stones. He was wearing Queensland University socks — judging by the blue and claret, West Ham United was their inspiration.

From there it wasn’t far to the chariots. The run was only 40 mins, as it was so hot for the Hares setting it at lunchtime. Anyway, that was ideal for your scribe. Meanwhile, the walk took one hour.

Hugh J. Nuss leaps into action, punishing the Hares, before we welcome back Anna, who works for the EU, Rusty Seal and our water expert Doctor Livingstone. He’s only in town till Wednesday, but I presume he’ll be back again soon. We give them a blast of the ‘Pyramids’ song and thanks, Hanna, for helping with the beer. We now welcome our visitors: Omar, David (a subsea technician with Cameron), Zeina (who lives in Garden and used to work at the Italian Embassy but now works in el-Qattamiya) and Doctor Paul (a headmaster). We give them a blast of ‘We’re up in the Morning’, before moving on to our non-signers-inners: Doc Bassem, Should’ve Been Blonde, Darren (aka Crocodile Dundee), Useless (!), Mohamed, Dr Paul, Omar, Small Paul and Cathy (not Mrs Dog). We sing them ‘It’s a Hash House Sin’. And now for something very important: the gorgeous Gigi receives a 25-run Hash patch (one run for every year of her life), with Dr Paul joining her.

We also give a brewski to Should’ve Been Blonde, whose birthday falls on Revolution Day, as does her mother’s. Penny indulges in refreshments with her, before we name new Hare Sean Tina Turner. This name was the ingenious idea of Doctor Paul, who discovered that Sean’s first pet was called Tina and his mother’s maiden name was Turner. Meanwhile, Hanna does a wee bit of raffle-extracting, with Easy Wife of Bam-Bam snatching the first case of Saqqara and Jackie the whisky! Now Rock Star extrapolates Mohamed, who snatches the diet Coke, while Small Paul lunges for the pornogra and Should’ve Been Blonde focuses on the second case of Saqqara! Small Paul, who drove past the Hash site today, gets another d-d, followed by Cream Off, who donates the Underpants Cap to Ahmed (aka Wing Nut), he who has swallowed the Oxford English Dictionary. Nabil and Bernd are proferred sherbs for helping The Dude, whose Drover broke down on the way to the Hash today and Frau Hund leads us in ‘Dough the Stuff’. The finally round of down-downs goes to Zeina and the raffle winners she pulls: Tina Turner (the white wine), Small Paul again (the other bottle of white wine), Doctor Paul (the orange soda pop) and Hoare House Hotel (the other packet of pornogra). And that was that. The On-On was at the Karvin in Heliopolis. On-On!!

1. New Smelly Galabiya: Marie-Louise
2. Old Smelly Galabiya: Andy
3. Magic Lantern: Little Dina
4. Toilet Seat: Spoilt Little Brat
5. Chain of Pain: Little Rachel
6. Underpants Cap: Wing Nut On-On Useless

Older scribes can be found here http://www.cairohash.com/docs/old