"I think you're losing your touch, as the actress said to the Bishop." "Useless - how do you run and right shight?"

Hash 1432 saw us in Wadi Hof, where we hadn't been for a wee while. Although Barbie's Greased Balls assured us that the temperature had dropped from 39 degrees Centrigade last week to 36 this week, it still felt very hot. We weren't far in and your scribe headed off northwards with the running pack, up hill and down dale, to the valley that contains the cave, an area that Rudie's so fond of. From there, Cheeky Little Bratwurst had done three ingenious trails from the first Czech, two of them proving false. We eventually picked up the correct one, going west up the valley and then up the hill on the right and down again, as it proved to be another falsie. We then continued west and then, a bit further along, scrambled up the cliffs on our left to the second cheque on top, by which point most of us were reduced by the heat to walking.

Hugh J. Nuss gets the show on the road, punishing himself and the other Hares, before calling up today's visitors: Erikson and Dice, both taxi drivers er tax advisers from southern Holland, and a beautiful journalist from Portugal called Tess. All our teachers are now invited to get stuck into a brewski, namely the Siberian Sex Bomb, Psycho Bosoms, Nipple Twister and Elaine, after whom Frau Hund takes charge, calling on Cucking Funt to get stuck into a sherbet for failing to sign in (and he also gallantly offers to prepare a salad for Hash 1433, a BBQ event), while Should've Been Blonde and Crazy Knockers also kindly offer their services on the salad front. Ursula and Mike muscle into the refreshments too. They are followed by those Hashers present whose birthdays occur at about this time: Nipple Twister, Athletic Supporter, Blow Hole, Hibiscus Flower, Mirelle and Dice. And now for this week's awards: little Dafydd (a 25-run patch and thanks for helping Alison with the beer), Tulip (another 25-run patch); and Greased Palm who receives the Piss Pot for knocking out a red-hot, super-fab 75 runs!

Tulip is then furnished with another brewski, followed by Should've Been Blonde, who, while recently on holiday, popped into the original Hash House in Kuala Lumpur for a drink. Meanwhile, Christian, who works for that wonderful charitable organisation 'Care', and his wife, Judy, are hauled up. On Wednesday, Christian went missing from home and couldn't be contacted, despite his wife's best efforts. It turns out that his mobile battery had gone dead and he'd decided to put in a latey at the office, beavering away into the wee hours, exploiting all his philanthropical potential in a bid to solve the profound social problems facing the Land of Sand. Anyway, all has been forgiven by Judy. A whole bundle of gorgeous girls are now earmarked for down-downs, namely Blow Hole, (who’s leaving us and gets a farewell mug, as she heads back to Princeton to complete her Master's), the Belgian Consul, Mike's wife, Mary, Gigi and that cracking Portuguese lass. Then Bad B invites the boring old farts to partake of a bevy, namely Useless, Erect Runner, David, San and Ahmed, before Barbie's Squashed Balls who tells us a witty joke, followed by jokes from Erikson, Dice, Elaine and Innis.

And now Innis, being groomed as the next RA, takes the helm, punishing those Hashers caught talking on their mobiles today - Doc B, Judy, Mike Cogan and his wife. Hugh J. Nuss keeps them company and when one Hare drinks! Cheeky Little Bratwurst quaffs the contents of the Pisser. Innis now invites the Hashers guilty of saintly behaviour today to enjoy a drop of nectar: The Mystical One for looking after wee Dafydd; Greased Palm for helping her; and Judy and Christian. We sing them 'Oh When the Saints'. After that, Frau Hund leads us in 'We're up in the Morning', sung for this week's Leicra wearers: Gigi, Nipple Twister, David, Juerg, Judy and Athletic Supporter, being joined by Greased Palm for drinking out of his right hand. After Innis' accomplished RA-ing, The Dude steps back in, inviting a bundle of people - most of whom haven't yet had a d-d - to have a d-d: David, Erect Runner, Innis (gets a well-deserved Piss Pot), Dutchman Qous, Michael, Piet, Jerry and Athletic Supporter.

And finally, over to David, who chooses a bunch of dudes and dudettes at random to swallow Saqqara: Barbie's Greased Balls, Uncle Wes, Nipple Twister, Juerg, Gigi and Cheeky Little Bratwurst. And when one Hare drinks! And very finally, Frau Hund and Athletic Supporter announce Hash 1433, before the On-On beckons at the Red Onion. On-On!!

1. New Smelly Galabiya: Marie-Louise
2. Old Smelly Galabiya: Andy
3. Magic Lantern: Little Dina
4. Toilet Seat: Spoilt Little Brat
5. Chain of Pain: Little Rachel
6. Underpants Cap: Wing Nut On-On Useless

Older scribes can be found here http://www.cairohash.com/docs/old