We were in Maadi for Hash 1447, the Christmas Hash, meeting outside the ACE Club. Your scribe was a running Hare, being joined by three worthy senior Hashers (all older and more sprightly than him), as we headed over the railway tracks, then south down Road 250, before turning right into Road 87. From there we ran down to Sakanat el-Maadi Underground Station, not before a 750cc motorbike being driven at high speed in the opposite direction swerved to avoid us, disgorging and nearly killing the pillion passenger. Oh the youth of today. Anyway, we then hopped on tube train and took it two stops south, alighting at Kozzika. Doc Livingston had used the Oxo before, but it was the first time for Stewart and the Dutch gentleman. At Kozzika, where a Greek family of that name owned a brewery before the 1952 Revolution, we exited on the left (east side). We then turned left and ran under the Tube line itself to the west side (the Old Cairo-Helwan Road) and turned right, passing a bundle of educational establishments on the right, including the Narmer American School, where the legendary Phyzz Dyck (now married and living in South Korea). The international section of the school has now moved to el-Qattamiya and Venom Sucker is a senior member of staff there. Just before Tora el-Balad Tube Station, we turned right, under the line again, stopping up the road on the right at a baladi café for refreshing glasses of extra-sweet Turkish coffee.

After that drinks stop, we crossed the road and ran along the railway sidings to the second Czech, behind Tora el-Balad Tube Station. From there we continued along the track to the third cheque under the flyover that links the Corniche to the Autostrade. After that, we jogged past little Suzie's old home to Midan Digla and then back to the ACE. The run took exactly an hour and we then made our way by private transport to Mister and Mrs Dog's home in Road 17 for the Circle. The walk took a few minutes lonager, as we passed the walkers making their way to Mister and Mrs Dog's too.

We were greeted at John and Cathy's with warming Glühwein, saki and mince pies. Hugh J. Nuss then launches the Circle, punishing the Hares, while Doc Livingston also qualifies for a brewski for his comments on this week's run. The Circle sings us 'Why were they Born?' and then we welcome Gunther's wide, Paula, and their two children (Gunther gets a sherb too), Karim and his wife (a driving instructor), Mohamed and Loha. As Frau Hund and Brain Dead do sterling work on the beer-pouring front, lots of other visitors are invited to partake of sauce - Janet from California, John, July (cool name), Joe, Cookie's son Adam and Sean. We then sing 'I could've seen the Pyramids' for Debbie (not Skid Marks), who is kept company by Franz (a merchant seaman), his wife and two children, not to mention Stinky. We then welcome back Watch Me Stroke My Furry Thing (who last visited us in the summer of 2006) and Gorillas, who's been busy acclimatising to life in Ghana and has also filled out a little. They are joined by Formaldehyde Puss.

And then our new RA, the dynamic Bad Lay, who announces that CH3 is going to be a theocracy, takes the helm, inviting four worthy Hashers to join the Hash Hall of Shame: Putin Out (aka the Siberian Sex Bomb), for not putting out on the Hash; senior Hasher Cream Offski; Brain Dead (as his brain is in good order); and Hugh J. Nuss, for last week's clean elections. He then punishes two ladies for the sin of omission - Tatiana (she hasn't given him her phone number) and Hot Lips Of Heidelberg, for being a Doritos Queen. We sing them 'Why were they Born?', followed by 'All I want for Christmas is a Brew', based on a number by soul specialist Maria Kerry. Those wonderful Hash singers - they should give up their day jobs!

As it's the Christmas Hash, Doggie Style, dressed in a splendid Papa Noël outfit, generously allows Useless to drink out of one of his offshore oil rig boots, complete with cheesy sock to give it that extra spicy flavour. What a treat! Shereena joins them for refreshments. More sherbets are distributed to Hashram, Siberian Sex Bomb, Watch Me Stroke My Furry Thing, and Stewart and his wife. The Dutch contingent are invited to partake of Christmas cheer, before Gorillas rounds proceedings off with 'Schwing Lowe'. Many people lingered on warming themselve by the charcoal burner in Mr and Mrs Dog's garden, before people repaired to the Rugby Club for the On-On. On-On!!

And finally your editorial staff would like to wish all their readers a very Merry Christmas.

1. New Smelly Galabiya: Marie-Louise
2. Old Smelly Galabiya: Andy
3. Magic Lantern: Little Dina
4. Toilet Seat: Spoilt Little Brat
5. Chain of Pain: Spoilt Little Bratwurst
6. Underpants Cap: Wing Nut On-On Useless

Older scribes can be found here http://www.cairohash.com/docs/old