We were in the Protectorate again for Hash 1453, at the Amphitheatre Site. It was the Swiss Hash, organised by two gallant Swiss, Sabrine and Joerg, and a gallant German, Martin. There was a good turnout and your scribe was with the runners, as we headed up the southern cliffs, then east to the first cheque on a hill. From there we ventured inland, to the second Czech on another hill after crossing some of the plain. We trundled down the hill and, having negotiated a falsie, headed up the big range of cliffs to the third checc on top. In fact, your scribe and Rota took a sneaky shortcut to another little hill to the west, where Spoilt Little Brat, sporting the Chain of Pain, soon passed us with Incomplete in hot pursuit. There was a running chekk at the bottom of that little hill and soon we were hurtling down the cliffs again into the wadi, the way we had come. The run took an hour, the walk a little longer. We were welcomed by one of Uncle Wes’ cool fires, while the Swiss contingent had decorated the cliffs with a dinky bit of bunting.

Spoilt Little Bratwurst ignites the Circle, punishing the Hares and then calling up this week’s plethora of visitors: Barbara, Norbert, Udit and daughter (all from Germany); General Jacques, the Swiss Defence Attaché; his wife, Anne; Hildige from Canada; Wonita, a teacher from Oregon; Claudia, a Norwegian working for BP; Toby's colleague, Sean, from New York; Wendy (not Not In The Mood), a PE teacher from Essex; Bridget from France who teaches Latin; Tina from Egypt: and Mystic Smeg (welcome back) and her cute little babby, Sophia. We sing them, under the expert leadership of the new Songfrau, Cock Tamer, 'We Could've Seen the Pyramids'. Over to Bad Lay, back from the Arabian Gulf, who invites Castrati and Nancy to indulge in Pissers, then Castrati (drank out of her right hand) again and Lindsay, to the tune of 'We go Hashing'. Steve then calls Mystic Meg and baby up, along with Nabil, his wife and their baby, and indeed all mamas present, including Bosoms From Brussels, Charlotte and others.

And now all those Welsh folk present get stuck into brewskis: Meg, Barbie's Squashed Balls; Useless (!); Bobby Williams boyo (gets the Pisser); and Bad Lay himself (Pisser too). Meanwhile, Cock Tamer, who has been having a break from the cock taming recently and hails from the homicide and syphilis capital of the United States, enjoys a sherbet, along with Cucking Funt. They are followed by Sabine (happy birthday) and Sean (not his birthday), after whom Tit For Tat gets stuck into the Pisser, while Rota is given a drop of Sakkara too. We serenade them with the 'Titty Song'. Over to Hugh J. Nuss, who presents Hani with a 25-run patch, while we sing 'It's a Hash House Sin' for non-signers-inners Marie-Leese, Frank and Bosoms. That's followed by Takes Offers being presented with a splendid 10-Hare mug and then The Sheriff of Nottingham is given his leavers' mug, being joined for a drink by those Hashers present who were here when he arrived way back in 1994 - Cookie, Pussy Wig and Erect Runner.

Back to Bad Lay, who calls up all the Swiss present, after which Tit For Tat and Barbie's Squashed Balls are punished for skillfully answering the RA's general knowledge pop music question. The ale continues to flow for Nabil and Catherine. And now for something very important. Martin Pertsch, a senior official in the German Embassy in Zamalek, gets christened Hand Solo by Spoilt Little Bratwurst and Yal Dab. This name was suggested by SLB, who's been watching some of them weird German movies again. And finally, the Hares for Hash 1354, in the Protectorate again, step forward for refreshments: Barbie's Squashed Balls, Yal Dab, Useless and Rota. So that was that. Some of us lingered by the fire for another drink or two, while the On-On was held at the wonderful old Swiss Club in Imbaba, not far from Kit Kat Square. On-On!!

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