We were at the first site on the right inside the Protectorate for Hash 1461. It was a joint runners and walkers' trails, with energetic runners being offered the opportunity to run the trail twice - anticlockwise and then clockwise - if they so desired. We were at the first Hash RV on the right, about three miles inside the Protectorate for Hash 1461. It was quite a small gathering, what with many people having holidays for Easter. We headed off up the steep southern cliffs, pausing to get our breath at the first cheqq on top. This week, the lentils were mixed with chickpeas, which are cheaper, given that the latest round of alarming price hikes in Egypt has seen the price of a kilo of lentils skyrocket to an alarming LE9 (or LE5 for half a kilo if you’re purchasing them from ‘Kimo’). Leaving aside the nation’s economic woes, we turned left and strolled east along the cliffs on this really hot afternoon to the second checc, above the Amphithatre Site. There, your scribe was tipped off by one of the Hares that there might be some sweeties in the vicinity, to celebrate the forthcoming feast of Easter. Your scribe had a good root round and found lots of marshmallows of different colours, hidden behind stones in little plastic bags. The heat had made them really yummy and gummy!

As your scribe munched away on the mallows, the Easter bunnies checked it out and soon we were heading down the side of the Amphitheatre. We dropped down into the wadi at the Amphitheatre Site itself and then strolled back west up the valley to the chariots. The walk too about an hour. At the RV, Easy Rider and What A F***er had grilled up some fabulous hamburgers for us, with lashings of onions, tomatoes, cucumbers, pickles, mustard and ketchup. Your scribe made himself a humungous Scoobie snack, which he put down for a second on the down-down cool box and yes, Plug wolfed the whole shebang!

Over to Mister Dog, our stand-in GM, who invites the Hares, including himself, to indulge in down-downs after that great walk. We then welcome this week’s visitors refereshments: Inhee (who works for KOICA), Toejam, Wing Nut (he’s been before), Colleen (visiting Cock Tamer), Nordin (who works at the French Embassy) and Asorga and her big sister, Helma. We sing them ‘We Could’ve Seen the Pyramids’ and thank-you for the two Cathys — Frau Hund and Cock Tamer — for helping with the beer this week. Meanwhile, Frau Hund punishes those citizens who have got themselves lost in the desert as they haven't signed in, namely Marie-Louise, Useless and Comes Quietly, before presenting a red-hot 25-run patch to Cock Tamer. Nabil's is not claimed, as he's already headed home.

Next, Easy Rider and What A F***ker, who served us and Plug with those wonderful hamburgers, step up to receive refreshments. It's What A F***ker's last Hash, so he and Useless (that's three weeks in a row!) drink out of his shoes. As his shoes are nice and new, we don’t make him burn or bury them, but make sure you bring them again next time you come to Egypt or Useless will never forgive you! Sheikh Geek is also required to indulge in sherbet, for wearing his Saint Patrick's Day Hash Tea-shirt this week, being joined by Claire and The Lion Farted for their cool costumes last week. We give them a blast of 'We Go Hashing', before Wonita, Super Fanny, Wing Nut and Doc Livingstone muscle in on the brewskis. And now for something very important, the naming of the beautiful Barbie. This glamorous mother-of-four, who has lived in Egypt for a quarter of a century, lists horseriding and leading walking tours among her hobbies, while she's also a fashion icon and an ardent anthropologist. One of her children is called Paprika and her dog is named Sekeeta. How to think of a name for such a superb doll? One suggestion was Barbie's Squashed Eggs, given the Easter season and the state of the mallows in today's heat, but we go for Hot Radish.

Barbie is christened with the golden sands of the Protectorate by Mister Dog and Useless, after which the latter and the Siberian Sex Bomb announce Hash 1462, with the RV at the gates to the Protectorate. Following that, Doc Bassem hands the Chain of Pain to Sleazy Rider, to the dulcet tones of the 'Countdown Song', and they then both drink again for drinking their first down-downs too quickly. So that was that. Later on, we repaired to the that homely institution the Rugby Club for the On-On. On-On!!

1. New Smelly Galabiya: Marie-Louise
2. Smelly Galabiya: Andy

Older scribes can be found here http://www.cairohash.com/docs/old