"I want to relive my pleasurable moments." "Can you stretch it a little bit?" "David, I can't remember your name." "It's David and I can't remember your name either, Irene." "Barack Obama loves Liz Taylor." "Less of your black humour!" "Don’t worry, everyone's a fruit and nut case, Bay Watch Babe." "I'm getting old and I keep repeating myself." "I'm getting old and I keep repeating myself." "I'm getting old and I keep repeating myself."

The Trail

We were at the Amphitheatre Site in Wadi Digla Protectorate for Hash 1475 at 5pm, set by our dynamic Dutch contingent. Your scribe was with the runners, as we headed westwards and then returned again, and wandered up into the foothills of the northern cliffs, opposite the cars. We walked up and down and down and up the little knolls going east down the wadi to the first cheque, with one of the newcomers, Dr Ahmed Khalaf, telling your scribe all about the dangers of tumours. We then strolled up into the foothills of the southern cliffs and headed back to base. The walk lasted one hour and the run 1 hour 25 mins. Even the walk was challenging, so imagine how tough the run must have been on this hot afternoon!

The mighty Uncle Rossiter kicks the Circle into gear, punishing the newcomers, namely Maaike from Holland (not the other Maaike from Holland), Rod who works for British Gas, Ahmed, a colleague of Athletic Supporter, and the above-mentioned Dr Ahmed Khalaf. Then it's the Hares, being joined by Inhee (stayed at the RV), Doing It Backwards (describes the run as tough) and Martina-lookalike Three Dogs F***ing (very good run), for whom we sing 'They ought to be publicly Pissed On'. And next, it's Useless (he did sign in!) and Easy Rider for that epic bike ride last week. Easy Rider gets called up again for drinking out of his right hand, along with Cream Off the cat lover and Barbie's Squashed Balls and He's Had A Haircut, who also have a kitten. Our gaseous executive Rod sings 'Cats on the Rooftops' for them. After this splendid solo, Bad Lay engages us in one of his absorbing quizzes about members of the acting profession. Those erudite Hashers Athletic Supporter, Matt (receives the Pisser), Bobby Williams boyo, Cream Off, Barbie's Squashed Balls and John get the answers right and so get to slake their thirst.

And now something very important: the Siberian Sex Bomb receives a fab 50-run Tea shirt and Erect Runner is presented with a bottle of Bells for knocking out a spectacular 550 runs with CH3! We sing them the 'Countdown Song', before calling up Maaike, Athletic Supporter, Inhee and Bad Lay, who've all worked in Mongolia, as well as Rod who was once gainfully employed in nearby Kazakhstan. And now Anne-Marie, who likes humorous men, needs naming. Many weird and wonderful suggestions are witnessed to float about the Circle, until we alight on one - Grolsch Schlurper. Bad Lay and Useless christen her with this groovy handle, and then we consider a suitable moniker for her husband, Anne. He likes Grolsch, heavy rock, crashing cars, eating fish and flesh. On the strength of these characteristics, the assembled Hashers decide that on this and every other Hash he will forever and always be known as Bitter Balls.

But there's still more fun to come with Bay Watch Babe being given a down-down for that superb nut and fruit cake she kindly distributed this afternoon, being joined by Easy Rider, and then Putin Out being officially renamed, not the Siberian Sex Bomb, but the Seductive Siberian Sex Bomb. A great name for a spy for the FSB. That rounded off a great Circle, before folk headed back to the Dragon House again for the On-On. On-On!!

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1. New Smelly Galabiya: Marie-Louise
2. Smelly Galabiya: Andy

Older scribes can be found here http://www.cairohash.com/docs/old