"Useless, if you keep the Hash notes stuffed down your shorts, where do you put your pen?" "Tread carefully over those rocks and watch out for the crack." "Maybe you want to give it a lick."

We were at the Information Centre for Hash 1482. Your scribe was with the runners as we headed briefly westwards and then did a 180 degree turn, jogging back past the Info Centre, with the first cheque on a spur to the east of it, before we headed down onto the wadi floor. We were above the waterfall and Rude Yard tipped off slow coach Useless about one or two shortcuts, while the maverick Erect Runner was doing his usual thing on the southern cliffs. Anyway, we crossed the valley and headed up the southern cliffs, along an ingeniously confusing trail. We carried on south and down a very steep cliff to the second Czech, from where el-Qattamiya was visible through a gap in the hills. At this point, your scribe, John Regan and one or two others turned back, accompanied by Barbie's Squashed Balls, as we were beginning to feel weary. On the way back down a tricky slope, Gentleman John Regan disappeared in a cloud of dust. Thinking it was a Taliban ambush, your scribe dived for cover. In fact, it wasn't an ambush at all, but John had taken a heavy tumble and sustained some nasty cuts. It was a case of Barbie's Squashed Balls to the rescue with his first aid kit. John bravely hobbled back across the wadi and back up the cliffs to the RV. The run took the slow coaches 1 hour 20 mins.

Spoilt Little Brat kicks the Circle into gear, with the injured JR in the middle, punishing this week's visitors - Mike of USAID from Nebraska, Marcie from Ohio and Orita from Turino - for whom we sing 'We Could've Seen the Pyramids', before the Hares are furnished with refreshments. Thank-you to Natalie and Lee-Anne for helping with the beer this week. Meanwhile, Melon F**ker punishes this week's non-signers-inners: Barbie's Squashed Balls, Michael 'Spandex' Brandt, Bobby Williams, the injured Gentleman John, Useless (!) and Heinz. And now Spoilt Little Brat calls up all the spray-on Spandex boys - Michael 'Spandex' Brandt, Heinz and Here's My Package - and we vote for which one of these three gentlemen, all from Germany or Switzerland, we think is the Spandexiest. And Here's My Package gets it on the shout.

And now Stwart I, Can't Make Her Come, dives into the fray, inviting two of our most durable Hashers, Not In The Mood and Kafka, to receive their leavers' mugs, as, on Tuesday night, they're bidding goodbye to us and heading to a town in Portugal called Tomar. Don't worry, it's not too far from the lesbian, er Lisbon. Kafka recalls that one of the most interesting Hashes was years ago, when two women got lost in Wadi Digla and spent the night there. Now that must have deserved a few down-downs. We give them a fine rendition of 'Why were they Born?', before following that with 'What a Spank' for Barbie's Squashed Balls, who receives a splendid 10-Hare mug. And now Stewart II needs naming. He too is from Australia and works in oil, bearing a remarkable resemblance to the Sex Machine. A number of names are suggested, but Flora's husband's suggestion, Petroleum Jelly, drowns them all out. So Stewart I christens him and then Spoilt Little Brat is punished for speeding on the way to the Hash today. We round off with Fenike announcing a very worthwhile charity project, before heading back home, with the On-On at the Dragon House. On-On!!

1. New Smelly Galabiya: Marie-Louise
2. Smelly Galabiya: Andy

Older scribes can be found here http://www.cairohash.com/docs/old