Run 1411 The Arise Sir Robert Hash 6/4/7 Hares: Erect Runner, Bad B, Useless HASH STATS Walkers: 14 Runners: 3 Total: 17 Quotes of the Day "Why did she bite you, Bob?" Useless, if you dare to carry on singing, I’m off home." "It’s never wrong to be extra long." The Trail We were in Wadi Digla Protecrorate, at the little broken-down building on the left not far inside the gate, for Hash 1411. An estimated 52 Hashers had headed to el-Bahariya for the away Hash, so we were a select crowd in Cairo. Your scribe, Cream Off, Greased Palm and Hani missed last week’s farewell Hash for Good To The Last Drop, at which well over LE3,000 was raised in the raffle for a local orphanage, as they weren’t enough lifts for them at the ACE and it was a case of women and children first. Your scribe must confess to shedding a few tears as he waved off Good To The Last Drop last Monday morning. Your editorial staff would like to express their thanks to her for all her wonderful input into nearly four years with Cairo Hash. Anyway, experienced Hares Erect Runner and Bad B suggested setting the run in two parts and meeting up in the middle. So Bad B set the trail going east in the foothills of the northern cliffs. He then went on top and then back down onto the wadi floor. Meanwhile, Erect Runner and your scribe headed up the southern cliffs (unusual for a run from this spot), passing lots of old lentils on the way. We then headed east along the clifftops and down into the wadi, meeting up with Bad B’s half of the trail. In fact, when it came to the Hash, there was only one runner — the gallant Cream Offski — apart from the two running Hares. He blazed the trail, with Useless and Erect Runner having to take many shortcuts in a bid to keep up with this energetic sexagenarian. Fortunately, it was a bit cooler and overcast by now. After the first cheque, Cream Offovich wisely avoided the vertiginous falsie your scribe had laid along the cliff edge. He soon found his way to the second Czech further east, from where he picked up Tony’s falsie, while the two Hares made a beeline for the third checc on the cliff edge further east still. We could see the walkers on the north side of the wadi, swiftly eating up the first half of the runners’ trail, set by Bad B as described above. Despite the Hares’ shortie, Cream Off beat them to the third chekk and was nowhere to be seen when they got there. No, he wasn’t lost — he’d simply charged down into the wadi and back to the chariots, taking the short leg of the short/long split on the valley floor. The long leg would’ve taken him back along Bad B’s first part with its spectacular views. Anyway, your Hares followed suit, taking one hour to complete the run. Those walkers who did the first half of the run were back in 1 hour 20 mins, while those brave souls, led by The Italian Blob, who walked the whole run, took 1 hour 50 mins! The Circular Shout Up With Gorillas In The Mist not being present, The Italian Blob took the helm as stand-in RA, punishing the Hares and then our visitors: Alan (Crusty The Clown) from Atlanta and his habeeba Vicky van der Hoek, who are here on holiday, and Zoë McIver and her habeeb, Toasting Schlumm from Germany, who are also her on their hols. We give them sherbets from the glass jars thoughtfully provided by Bad B, while we sing them ‘We Could’ve Seen the Pyramids’. We then invite Zoë and Toasting, from the former East Germany (ex-Stasi I think — check out that Soviet totty, dude) to have another brewski, singing them ‘Why were they Born?’ We give this sporting couple more refreshments while they exchange Tea shirts. And now for something very important. On behalf of Her Majesty the Queen, Useless knights Bad B with the Honorable Order of the Commander of the Thirty Hare Silver Cartouche. He drinks from the aluminium goblet. Arise Sir Robert! We sing him ‘Loch Lomond’, inspired by Zoë. Inspector Gadget’s (welcome back) wife joins him for a sherb. Back to The Italian Blob, who invites your scribe to swallow a down-down on behalf of Who Flung Pooh (Beijing Hash Cash), who’d already gone home, while he’s also in for another wonderful treat, drinking from Rachel’s new shoes. Next, the stand-in RA tells us the how-to-catch-a-fox joke, before Bad B steps in, having a d-d himself, along with Inspector Gadget. This is followed by jokes from Zoë, a joke from Erect Runner and one from Useless. Then a plane flies perilously low overhead as Bad B drinks some of the glorious Stella, before Crusty tells us the one about the leather jacket flushed down the toilet. Next, Cream Off does a reconstruction of his tripping on the runners’ trail today, drinking a down-down lying on the ground. We round off with ‘Schwing Lowe’, before your scribe and Useless indulge in more refreshments. Later on, around ten of us made it to the Rabbit Club. The fish and chips and Stella were out of this world. On-On!!       Who Has What: 1. New Smelly Galabiya: Marie-Leese 2. Old Smelly Galabiya: Rachel 3. Magic Lantern: Little Dina 4. Toilet Seat: Spoilt Little Brat With Red Nuts 5. Chain of Pain: Hala ON-ON Useless

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